Dina hasn’t heard much about Red Flags so far, but she could definitely have saved her last date.
Dina, 26, met her date via Tinder and went on a date in a chic café full of anticipation. She should have known within five minutes that she was with the wrong man. But dazzled by his charm and charisma, she stumbled from one Red Flag to the next.
He arrives 15 minutes late, doesn’t apologize and instead emphasizes how important his work is. Dazzled by his self-assurance and attractiveness, Dina mumbles quietly that it’s okay and listens to his monologues. Even then, she still doesn’t realize that this date has no prospects. When he suddenly, out of nowhere, invites her to his apartment to show off his cooking skills, it dawns on Dina: he just wants quick sex. She ignored all the red flags and was far too passive.
Now Dina wants me to tell her how she can avoid such situations in future. She has booked a large coaching package with me and wants to learn what she should look out for when she wants to date a man. She wants a long-term and happy relationship and wants me to help her get there.
Red flags for women on a first date:
Dating can be exciting, but it can also be like a minefield where you have to dodge red flags. Imagine you’re on a first date – full of anticipation and expectations. But during the conversation, you suddenly realize that something is wrong. It’s the small, inconspicuous clues that are often overlooked, but which can tell you a lot about the person you’re talking to. These notices, also known as red flags, are warning signals that something is not quite kosher.
Red Flags for women, Dina’s mistake:
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Arrives late and does not apologize
– Red Flag: If he arrives 15 minutes late and doesn’t say “sorry” but emphasizes the importance of his work, that’s a sign of disrespect.
– Green Flag: He arrives on time or politely apologizes for being late and explains the reason. -
Only talk about yourself
– Red Flag: If he only talks about himself the whole evening and doesn’t ask any questions about you, it’s a one-sided conversation.
– Green Flag: He shows genuine interest in you, asks questions and actively listens. -
Only looking for quick sex
– Red Flag: If he suddenly invites you to his house and praises his cooking skills, he probably just wants quick sex.
– Green Flag: He respects your boundaries and suggests more dates to get to know you better. -
Permanent cell phone check
– Red Flag: If he’s constantly looking at his cell phone, you’re competing with his notifications.
– Green Flag: He puts his cell phone away and concentrates on the conversation with you.
Another 4 Red Flags and their Green Flags: -
Rudeness towards the staff
– Red Flag: He treats the staff badly and shows no respect.
– Green Flag: He is polite and grateful to the staff and may even ask for recommendations. -
Information about his work
– Red Flag: If he brags incessantly about his professional successes, that’s a sign of arrogance.
– Green Flag: He talks about his work, but also shows interest in your profession and respects what you do. -
Focused only on external appearance
– Red Flag: He only makes superficial compliments and is not interested in your character.
– Green Flag: He asks questions about your values and interests and shows genuine interest in you as a person. -
Ignores your work and interests
– Red Flag: If he shows no interest in your work as an elementary school teacher and ignores your hobbies, that’s a sign of disinterest.
– Green Flag: He is interested in your work and hobbies, asks questions and shows a genuine interest in your life.Red Flags for women: Psychology and dating
Dina’s date shows narcissistic tendencies and a lack of empathy, which is reflected in his tardiness without apology and his lack of interest in Dina. He uses people for his own needs by inviting them to his home, where he is only interested in one thing. His behavior indicates superficial communication and little respect for Dina’s time and efforts.
Conclusion Red Flags for women
After the coaching, Dina can quickly recognize red flags and knows how to deal with them. She has now found a great boyfriend and the relationship is going really well. Dina is happy and just needs some support to strengthen her relationship – it’s more of a life coaching issue
