How do I approach a woman? 6 strategies – 6 sayings


Marco is good-looking and has an exciting job where he also has a lot to do with women. At first glance, no one would guess that he has been struggling with himself for a while when it comes to meeting women.

Even more recently, at a friends’ party, a woman had said to him, “I bet you’re just adored by women the way you look!” It was already on the tip of his tongue to tell that he has a panic fear of approaching women. Instead, he just modestly said that he does get approached sometimes during his lectures. That’s another reason he likes his job.

The conversation with the woman at the party did not last very long. Marco had unfortunately asked the important question about her phone number a little too early and without the right timing.

At that moment, trust had not yet been built up, nor was there a nice positive tension in the room. Rather, there was just an uncomfortable silence, which Marco used to put his cell phone on the table and ask for the phone number, which of course he did not get.

Marco was not able to use this ideal situation, in which he had finally been approached by a woman outside his professional environment, positively for himself. He didn’t know how to make a conversation positive.

When he went to try his luck on the street the next day, he couldn’t think of anything at all. He thought about signing up for Tinder again, he already had a cool profile picture. From the picture, anyone would guess that he is confident and brave […].

Analysis Flirt Coach

At the party, Marco finally had the opportunity to talk about his fear of approaching women. And in a very natural way, with a woman who herself was not too shy to approach men. That alone would have been enough to talk about!

Afraid of showing weakness, however, Marco turned the conversation to his work. In doing so, he could have addressed his fear issue on a meta-level and thus inspired confidence in the woman.

On his admission, “I have to admit honestly: I’m actually very shy about approaching women.” she would most likely have expressed her astonishment and the conversation would have taken an interesting and exciting turn.

Strategy Flirt Coach

Flirt Coaching not only teaches you how to approach women. It also focuses on building trust in small talk, sparking interest in more in-depth conversations, and creating excitement. These are typical elements of life coaching.

When addressing, you can already apply 6 important core elements of the flirting process, such as:

  • confident appearance
  • complete attention
  • real confidence
  • subtle (or not so subtle) humor
  • relaxed small talk
  • sexual tension

You can seduce the woman in a subtle way if you follow some important steps while approaching her, which will increase the success of your flirting attempts.

Addressing strategies

Generally speaking, it’s not even that crucial what you say. It’s just important to say something at all.

It can be straightforward, so you come across as authentic, or it can be more playful. Hesitantly asking for directions or telling the woman directly how great she looks doesn’t work.

Insecure men with low self-worth are not sexy. A boring excuse doesn’t turn you on either, and obvious compliments are just embarrassing. Six examples that can work, depending on mood, personality and goal.

6 strategies – 6 sayings

1. address straightforward

→ Direct addressing shows that one has self-awareness, i.e. is sovereign.

He: “Hi, I just saw you and thought I really had to talk to you.” (He immediately extends his hand. “I’m … by the way.”)

Advantage: Women appreciate it when men dare to be direct. It says a lot about a character and is stored as a plus.

Cons: Humor and looseness are somewhat lacking.

2. address spontaneously

→ The spontaneous approach inspires trust.

He: “Hi, what are you doing right now?”

Her: “Chill.”

He: “Fine. And what else do you do?”

She: “I sell clothes.”

He: “Great, I would really need your help there […]”

Advantage: The woman does not feel pressured and can freely tell what she does. The easy-going nature inspired confidence in her.

Cons: The woman might glibly counter, “What do you care what I’m doing right now?”

3. address creatively

→ The creative approach has the advantage that it is easier to get into small talk mode.

He: “Hi, do you speak English?”

Her: “A little.”

Him: “Cool, where are you from?”

She: “From Germany.”

He: “Realy? So we can talk in German then?”

Her: “Sure, why not.” He: “Hi, I’m …”

Advantage: You already have a great topic of conversation as you pass by. The topic of “language” is always interesting for women and even invites compliments – “Brave of you to answer me so readily in English! Have you ever been to the USA?” etc.

Disadvantage: She may not know any English at all, but doesn’t dare admit it. End of conversation.

4. address cheeky

→ The cheeky approach does not hide one’s own goals and immediately shows whether the whole “investment” is worthwhile.

Him: “Hi.” You: Look scared. “Now you’ve scared me!”

Him: “It’s all good, I just want to get to know you,!”

He: “Hi I’m…”

Advantage: You don’t have to be afraid of falling into the “friend zone“, because it is clear from the beginning that your interest in the woman is not purely platonic.

Disadvantage: Not every woman likes cheeky sayings. In times of ME TOO, such a saying can backfire.

5. address courageously

→ The courageous approach demonstrates a certain coolness and is usually rewarded with praise.

He: “Hi, you look like someone … (examines the woman with a smile for a few seconds) … like someone who is single ?!” or “like someone who doesn’t mind being approached spontaneously ?!”

Advantage: You hardly need to prove that you are confident and in the thick of things during small talk or in a more in-depth conversation, because you have already shown that.

Disadvantage: If you can’t manage to look at the woman with a smile, she’ll think you’re a psycho.

6. address cockily

→ The cocky response shows that you are playful, i.e. that you have a sense of humor. In doing so, you have their complete attention.

He: “Maybe you have a map? I am lost in your eyes!”

Advantage: That this is a typical pick-up line will be clear to every woman. She will laugh if you are able to get it across with the right body language and facial expressions.

Disadvantage: Such a (pick-up) spell can also go completely wrong. That is the risk of this challenge.

© Timo ten Barge [13 .10.2018]

How do I approach a woman? 6 strategies – 6 sayings

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